The State of Things

Voted yesterday. I went early and got through the line fairly quickly. I can’t say the choice was easy to make, but I will say that I’m not telling anyone who I voted for. I learned that with my family - they are so divided that no matter what answer I give it would make someone mad. So don’t ask and I won’t tell.

Stress has been my constant friend these days. People and their problems seem to be the issue. I have only a few problems of my own that I can genuinely say are my cause, and these will be put to bed very soon. In fact, by my birthday in a few weeks I can honestly say I’ll feel so much better that this will all seem like a bad dream.

Since I don’t like put specifics in these online journals, I’ll simply say that I’ve given up on meeting anyone I can be with romantically. Perhaps it is my family that has given me some Freudian complexes or merely that I dislike emotional entanglements. I will say that my past relationships (the long-term ones from my 20s) have given me a dislike for the whole crying/arguing/unpredictable side of women and that I have to maintain my own stability. In fact, this stability is so difficult to maintain for me that I can’t even explain how difficult this can be for me. Mostly its financial, and in this market, we can all relate to that.

I’m turning 39 this year and I have to admit that I’m deeply allergic to kids and, since I am in a band and a musician, seem to attract the party crowd (something I’ve done a long time ago.) I long for a peaceful life with some beauty who truly understands me. This seems to be a dream and I’ve give up on dreaming.

The band continues to fair quite well. We’re getting basic tracks down at a fair clip and all the old stupid arguments seem to be in the past. We’re all adults now, so it is also unrealistic to think we’ll suddenly become rock stars. We are doing it for ourselves and hope that someone else likes these songs, as well.